The Rich Roll Podcast What's Going Right: Dr. Paul Conti On Self-Sabotage, Trauma & Why Being Hard On Yourself Is Slowing You Down
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May 11, 2026 
Dr. Paul Conti, psychiatrist and author reframing mental health toward agency and flourishing. He explores self-sabotage, the five-part structure of self, the three human drives, and why being hard on yourself backfires. Short practical steps for boundaries, honest self-inventory, and turning insight into sustained behavior pop up throughout.
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Change Behavior By Fixing The Engine First
- To change behavior, inspect underlying structure: unconscious beliefs and defense mechanisms rather than just deciding to act differently.
- Example: scale back ambitious gym plans and reframe self-talk to create sustainable wins.
Human Drives Include A Generative Force
- Conti identifies three human drives: assertion, pleasure, and a generative drive that governs altruism and meaning.
- He says psychology historically emphasized only assertion and pleasure, missing the generative drive that aligns healthy behavior.
Set Boundaries By Planning Words And Consequences
- Prepare and rehearse specific boundary language, anticipate responses, and plan consequences if the boundary is crossed.
- Keep the success metric internal: you acted reasonably even if the other person refuses to change.
