Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships 574 - How to Make Calendaring Not Suck
Apr 7, 2026
They dive into why scheduling sparks so much relationship friction. Personal calendar styles and the mental load of shared calendars come up. Research shows sharing calendars can signal priorities and create conflict. They explore anxiety, procrastination, who becomes the default scheduler, and why polyamorous scheduling can be mathematically impossible. Practical tools and emotionally aware calendar ideas finish the conversation.
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Calendaring Communicates Priorities Not Just Time
- Scheduling is often an emotional problem, not just logistics, because calendar events communicate priorities and values to partners.
- Jace explains that an event like “dinner with mom” signals obligations and what's important, creating emotional meaning beyond the time slot.
Hosts Share Their Real Calendaring Habits
- Dedeker, Emily, and Jace describe different calendaring habits: paper planners, whiteboards, and heavily layered digital calendars.
- Jace mentions multiple calendars (work, personal, Multiamory) plus a whiteboard to track near-term plans.
Scheduling Procrastination Is Emotional Not Practical
- Procrastination around scheduling often stems from emotion regulation and intolerance of uncertainty, not poor time management.
- Jace and hosts reference IU research and a 2018 brain imaging study linking procrastination to amygdala differences.