Sex for Saints Episode 334 - What to do with Unanswered Arousal
Sep 13, 2024
Conversation about what to do when arousal goes unanswered. Harmful coping like pressure or porn is named and alternative paths are offered. Practical strategies include mindfulness, channeling energy into movement or creativity, and using anticipation to deepen future intimacy. Guidance on honest communication, teaching kids healthy regulation, and unlearning cultural expectations is also explored.
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Arousal Is Natural But Socially Conditioned
- Arousal is natural and shaped by gendered conditioning, not just biology.
- Amanda Lauder explains many men are taught arousal is uncontrollable while women were taught to gatekeep men's sexuality, creating pressure in relationships.
Avoid These Four Unhealthy Coping Strategies
- Avoid four unhealthy responses: making it your spouse's job, porn, repression, or indulgence.
- Amanda warns pressuring a partner, porn use, suppressing desire, or seeking outside sex all damage trust and sexual self-worth.
Five Practical Ways To Handle Unanswered Arousal
- Practice five healthy strategies: sit with discomfort, appreciate arousal, metabolize the energy, ride the wave, and save it for the next encounter.
- She gives concrete actions like mindfulness, exercise, creative projects, and using buildup to enhance future intimacy.