Sex for Saints Episode 344 - Sexual Caretaking
Nov 22, 2024
They unpack what sexual caretaking looks like and how it differs from healthy attentiveness. They offer real-life examples of caretaking behavior and trace its roots to cultural and religious conditioning. They describe the harm it does to authenticity, desire, and connection. They outline practical shifts like boundaries, mutuality, and honest communication to create healthier intimacy.
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Origins Tie To Social And Religious Conditioning
- Sexual caretaking often stems from cultural, societal, and religious conditioning that rewards self-sacrifice and performance in relationships.
- Amanda Lauder gives examples: women socialized to be nurturing and men taught to tie worth to sexual performance.
Caretaking Erodes Authentic Desire
- Sexual caretaking destroys authenticity by disconnecting caretakers from their own sexual desires and bodies.
- Amanda Lauder reports many women can't name what they like because they've been focused on satisfying their partner for months or years.
Caretaking Builds Resentment And Distance
- Caretaking breeds resentment and emotional distance because one partner feels their needs don't matter while the other senses managed behavior.
- Amanda Lauder explains this spills into the relationship and creates pressure and anxiety for both partners.