Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships 578 - Getting Back Together with an Ex: Great Idea or Terrible Idea?
May 12, 2026
They dig into why people feel pulled to reunite with past partners and share on-again/off-again stories. Research on how often reconciliations happen and what predicts success gets discussed. Psychological forces like the Zeigarnik effect, paradox of choice, and commitment dynamics are explored. Practical steps and questions to consider before reconnecting are offered.
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Jace's Reconnects Stayed Casual Not Committed
- Jace described reconnecting with past partners as friends-with-benefits after years, never fully returning to the original relationship.
- One reunion happened between high school and post-college with distance/logistics preventing long-term success.
Emily's Twice Reconciliation Regret
- Emily admitted getting back together twice with one person and joked about being 'checked' by God sending an ex back.
- She framed her experiences as not great and used humor to illustrate repeating mistakes.
College Provides High Quality Partner Matching
- College is a fertile ground for long-term partnerships due to dense, similar-age social networks and abundant unstructured time.
- Campus proximity and repeated interactions increase chances of meeting long-lasting partners.