Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled 3 Reasons Your Toddler Rejects You for Their Other Parent
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Apr 21, 2026 A parent describes the sting of a toddler favoring the other parent. Janet explains three surprising reasons behind parent preference: a normal bonding phase, how parental emotional reactions fuel it, and how the preferred parent’s giving in reinforces it. Practical scripts and boundary strategies are offered, plus reassurance that the phase will pass and self-forgiveness matters.
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Toddlers Pass Through Parent Preference Phases
- Children often go through short phases of strongly preferring one parent as they bond with them right now.
- Janet Lansbury explains this is normal and not reflective of the child's deeper love for the other parent, using the listener's 21-month example.
Parents' Emotions Shape The Child's Behavior
- A parent's visible hurt or jealousy can unintentionally prolong the child's preference by creating confusing emotional cues.
- Janet says children detect parents' triggers and will revisit the behavior to figure out what's happening.
Preferred Parent Must Hold Boundaries Too
- The preferred parent often avoids setting boundaries out of guilt or discomfort, which reinforces the child's bossy demands.
- Janet notes both parents must be comfortable allowing the child's upset while still holding boundaries.