How To GET THE GIRL - An Ask Women Podcast (Video) What the top 1% of men do differently that attracts all women (and it's not looks or money)
Mar 9, 2026
Kit Barris, OnlyFans creator with degrees in math and psychology, shares patterns she’s seen from thousands of interactions. She discusses why behavior beats looks or money. Topics include confident competence, handling rejection with independence, subtle signals of interest, respectful approaches that create intrigue, and complimenting in ways that actually land.
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Confidence Is Competence Plus Independence
- Confidence equals competence and independence, not just bravado. Kit Barris defines competence as trusting your ability to handle situations and independence as being okay alone so a partner adds, not completes, you.
- Readily accepting rejection signals confidence; men who panic or try to manipulate after a no feel insecure and repel women.
Picked Up Bartender By Helping With Broken Glasses
- Kit waited, picked up a bartender's dropped glasses, then calmly offered her number and an easy out; he responded positively. The kindness-plus-confidence move worked quickly in a bar setting.
- The context: low-traffic night, genuine helpfulness, and a composed delivery created safety and attraction.
Invite Rejection To Get More Yeses
- Give people permission to say no to increase yeses; present your interest calmly and allow an easy out. Kit gave a bartender her number after returning his dropped glasses and explicitly invited refusal.
- Be genuinely okay with rejection so you don't pressure or manipulate; that emotional peace is attractive.