John is not going to dance to their tune. Who’s tune? The people who design the layouts of supermarkets, that’s who. Sure, they can play their seductive little ditties, but Johnny JR ain’t dancing.

But someone who is dancing to a tune is Elis James, and that tune is Welsh music (general). With St David’s Day having just passed, the pressure is on Elis to contribute to the national mood. Can he turn around a poor run of form in the Cymru Connection, or will he besmirch the good name of Wales around its big day?

Elsewhere, Elis dives headfirst into a cognitive decline casserole, the boys riff a future award-winning feature on the fly, and we take a welcome trip back down the Shame Well.

Send in your missives to elisandjohn@bbc.co.uk.

#519 - Big Seed, Big Sad John and Big Voiced Clive