Are Your Desires Really Yours? How to Recognize and Reclaim What You Truly Want with Luke Burgis

In this episode, Luke Burgis explores the question, “Are your desires really yours?” and how to recognize and reclaim what you truly want. He discusses how to tell the difference between “thin desires (fleeting, imitated wants) and “thick desires” (the deeper longings that bring lasting fulfillment), and why discerning between the two can change the direction of your life. Luke also shares practices for uncovering your true hierarchy of values, creating alignment between what you want and who you want to be. Explore how to pivot from “I don’t want to” to “I do want to, I just don’t feel like it” and how to feed the desires that lead to meaning instead of comparison or regret.

Exciting News!!! Coming in March, 2026, my new book, How a Little Becomes a Lot: The Art of Small Changes for a More Meaningful Life is now available for pre-orders!

Key Takeaways:

• Exploration of the concept of mimetic desire and its origins in the work of René Girard.
• Discussion on how desires are often imitative and influenced by others rather than being inherently personal.
• The importance of discerning between beneficial and harmful desires in one’s life.
• The parable of the two wolves as a metaphor for the internal conflict between positive and negative desires.
• Differentiation between “thin desires” (fleeting and influenced by external factors) and “thick desires” (deeply rooted in personal values and identity).
• The role of self-reflection and narrative in understanding one’s desires and motivations.
• The significance of establishing a hierarchy of values to guide decision-making and desire cultivation.
• The impact of social interactions on shaping desires and the responsibility individuals have in influencing others.
• The concept of “stalking your greatest desire” as a means to align personal desires with one’s life mission.
• The importance of having a trusted partner for exploring and communicating desires, emphasizing the value of attentive listening

If you enjoyed this conversation with Luke Burgis, check out these other episodes:

How to Find Zest in Life with Dr. John Kaag

Finding Zen in the Ordinary with Christopher Keevil

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