7: Shame and Guilt in the Sexual System, with Martha Sweezy

”Either there's a part who is doing some shaming, either internally or externally, or there's a part who is feeling shameful. And those are two different positions to be in.” Martha Sweezey

Content Advisory: This episode explores sensitive topics related to sexuality including sexual abuse.  Listener discretion is advised.

It’s hard to feel Self-Led in Bed when we are flooded with shame and guilt. Yet these feelings are so common in the realm of sexuality where our most vulnerable needs and desires are exposed to inner and outer judgment. In today’s episode I had the privilege of speaking with Martha Sweezey, an esteemed IFS therapist, teacher, supervisor, and author. Her recent book Internal Family Systems Therapy for Shame and Guilt is profoundly insightful regarding what Richard Schwartz refers to as “the most primal, terrifying, toxic and motivating of all burdens” 

Martha discusses her journey into the mental health field and her focus on shame and guilt, particularly in the context of sexuality. She explains the difference between parts that do shaming and parts that feel shameful, which she views as a global assessment of self-worth. She differentiates these from guilt which pertains to specific behaviors and can be adaptive or maladaptive.

She highlights how parts with roles related to shame and guilt can form complex emotional dynamics, but that understanding common patterns can open access to these parts, and when we can “get in the middle” from a place of caring and compassion we can help them to not feel alone and to sort out the dilemmas. The conversation also explores the intergenerational transmission of shame and the impact of cultural and social factors. 

About Martha:

Martha Sweezy is an assistant professor part-time in psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, a research and training consultant at the Center for Mindfulness and Compassion at the Cambridge Health Alliance, and a psychotherapist in private practice. She teaches Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy nationally and internationally and has authored, co-authored, and co-edited seven books on various applications of IFS.

Connect with Martha:

• Website: https://marthasweezy.com

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100094054958897

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/feed/

Follow Patricia on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patriciarichconsulting/

Join the Self-Led Sexuality Free Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/selfleds3xualitywithpatriciarich

Sign up for Patricia’s email list and get the free The Six S's of Sexual Self-Energy Infographic.

Disclaimer: All opinions and views expressed by Patricia Rich through the Self-Led in Bed Podcast and YouTube Channel are her own, as are the opinions and views expressed by guests. Patricia may or may not agree with the opinions and views expressed by guests and information provided on the podcast is not guaranteed to be factually accurate. The content provided is for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes only. Nothing in this content should be construed or assumed to constitute personal or professional consultation, supervision, advice, clinical instruction, clinical assessment, guidance, treatment, therapy, training, diagnosis, or to replace medical or mental health treatment. Nothing in this content creates a therapist-client relationship. Always seek the advice of a medical or mental health provider regarding any questions or concerns you have about your medical and/or mental health needs. If you need immediate help, contact your provider and/or call 911. Patricia Rich is always learning and her opinions are formed with the information she has at the time, and may change as she learns more. Topics discussed pertain to psychological states and to sexuality and may provoke uncomfortable feelings for some listeners. Please use your own discretion when listening to this podcast or sharing it with others.