I'm Pregnant After Loss: Exploring Seasons of Grief and Joy

I’ve been waiting a very long time to write these words. I’m pregnant!!! And we’re having a baby boy! His nickname is Polpettino (which means ‘little meatball’ in Italian) because my husband Billy is fourth-generation Irish, and this baby is going to come out the most Irish kid you've ever met, so he's getting to be Italian while he's still in there. And we love him so much already. But before we get to the joy, I need to take you through the full story. Because this pregnancy didn't just happen. It was fought for. It was grieved for. It’s pregnancy after loss, after two years of grief, fear, therapy, IVF, and learning how to hold joy and sorrow in the same body. Welcome to my pregnancy journey!

 

In this episode, we learn:

• [01:39] OMG, Plant friends, I’m pregnant with a baby boy!
• [05:04] How I moved through seasons of grief, waiting, and hope
• [06:26] Fear, numbness, and how this episode serves as my exposure therapy
• [07:49] Sharing your personal stories of grief with me
• [09:01] Why I reject the polished version of pregnancy that social media portrays
• [10:08] My first pregnancy and a missed miscarriage before Christmas
• [15:23] Manukora
• [16:59] Espoma Organic
• [19:12] My second pregnancy and how that loss hit me differently
• [20:17] Why I think nature is brutal
• [21:10] How we decided to move forward with IVF!
• [21:36] How I found out I had endometritis
• [23:22] How do you treat endometritis? (Please share this with every woman in your circle!)
• [24:30] The patience and waiting for the IVF process itself
• [26:07] What my fears are while pregnant with my third child
• [28:47] My first trimester and what that meant for my work and identity
• [29:27] How I still ran Growing Joy while sick
• [31:11] Coming out of winter!! Spring is here! I'm finally ready to plan for our future <3
• [32:11] Growing Joy redefined and how I imagine motherhood inside this plant community
• [33:27] The micro and macro of seasons and how time reshapes everything
• [34:16] Four Christmases later…
• [36:15] What's coming next? Gender reveal, house renovation, and what Growing Joy means now!

 

Mentioned in our conversation:

• Instagram: @growingjoywithmaria
• Submission form for your own "Winter"
• Growing Joy Episode 294: I Found 22 Ducklings on My Roof: A Nature-Curious Story of Trust and Transformation

 

For the full story of my pregnancy journey,

I share it in the show notes and blog.

 

Thank you to our episode sponsors:

Manukora

Go to manukora.com/bloom to get up to 31% off the starter kit that includes their 850+ Manukora honey jar, 5 honey travel sticks, a wooden spoon, and a guidebook, PLUS $25 worth of free gifts!

Espoma Organic

Visit espoma.com to find your local Espoma dealer or check my Amazon storefront.

 

Follow Maria and Growing Joy:

Order my book: Growing Joy: The Plant Lover's Guide to Cultivating Happiness (and Plants)by Maria Failla, Illustrated by Samantha Leung

Join the Bloom and Grow Garden Party Community Platform & App AKA the plantiest and kindest corner of the internet! Get your FREE 2-week trial here!

Take the Plant Parent Personality Quiz (Get the perfect plants, projects and educational resources for YOUR Lifestyle)

Support Bloom and Grow Radio by becoming a Plant Friend on Patreon!

Instagram: @growingjoywithmaria

Tiktok: @growingjoywithmaria

Subscribe to the Growing Joy Youtube channel! /growingjoywithmaria

Website: www.growingjoywithmaria.com

Pinterest: @growingjoywithmaria

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.