Untangle Finding Love and Relieving Relationship Stress During Difficult Times. With Stan Tatkin.
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Apr 2, 2026 Stan Tatkin, psychologist and founder of PACT, offers quick, practical relationship tools grounded in attachment science. He explores quiet love rituals, co-regulation techniques, timed problem-solving, repair gestures to defuse threat, and using meditation and biofeedback to calm reactivity. Short, actionable ideas for restoring calm and care during stressful times.
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Schedule Quiet Love Time
- Do schedule daily periods of quiet love with your partner that are low-demand and distraction-free.
- Stan Tatkin recommends lying together, face-to-face or side-by-side, without talking to replenish and co-regulate during stress.
We Regulate Better Together
- Co-regulation between two people often succeeds where self-regulation fails because humans are wired to manage states interactively.
- Tatkin explains infants learn regulation externally and adults still need others to error-correct fast in distress.
Make The Relationship A Shared Third
- Create a shared vision and guardrails for your relationship so automatic habits don't drive you apart.
- Stan frames the relationship as a third entity with its own purpose, ethics, and agreements to protect both partners' wellbeing.
