A Difficult Conversation About Surrogacy, IVF, and Parenthood

Apr 21, 2026

Katie Faust, children’s rights activist and author of Them Before Us, argues for centering children in debates on family and reproduction. She discusses how biological ties, surrogacy, IVF, and policy shifts reshape identity, stability, and safety for kids. The conversation covers risks of nonbiological parenting, commodification of reproduction, and legal incentives affecting family formation.

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INSIGHT

Biological Parents Are Central To Child Identity

Katie Faust argues children uniquely gain identity from knowing their biological mother and father, and open adoptions produce better outcomes than closed ones.
She cites surveys of donor-conceived children and the shift to 95% open adoptions in the U.S. as evidence that knowledge of birth family aids identity formation.

INSIGHT

Married Biological Parents Correlate With Greater Child Safety

Faust links family structure to child safety: married biological mother and father homes show the lowest rates of abuse and neglect.
She frames unrelated adults in the home (step-parents, live-in partners) as statistically increasing risk, regardless of sexual orientation.

INSIGHT

The Cinderella Effect Shows Risks From Unrelated Caregivers

Faust invokes the measurable 'Cinderella effect' showing unrelated caregivers invest less and pose higher risk to children.
She cites research examples: less medical care, lower seatbelt use, and reduced financial investment by stepparents on average.

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In this episode of The Winston Marshall Show, I sit down with children’s rights activist and author Katie Faust to explore one of the most contentious debates of our time: what do children actually need to thrive?

Faust argues that modern conversations around family, marriage, and reproduction have become overwhelmingly focused on adult desires while the rights and wellbeing of children are increasingly ignored. Drawing on years of work with families and young people, she makes the case that children are uniquely shaped by their biological mother and father, and that removing either comes with real, measurable consequences.

We examine the impact of divorce, fatherlessness, and non-traditional family structures, including same-sex parenting, surrogacy, and sperm and egg donation. Faust outlines her “children’s rights” framework, arguing that identity, safety, and stability are deeply connected to biological parenthood and that modern family law has flattened those distinctions.

The conversation also tackles the ethics of IVF and surrogacy, including the commodification of reproduction, the separation of biological and birth parents, and the long-term psychological effects on children. We debate whether the desire for more births in a time of demographic decline justifies these technologies, or whether they risk creating new harms.

Finally, Faust shares her personal journey from growing up in an unconventional family to becoming a leading voice in this space and explains why she believes society must re-centre the child in every discussion about family.

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Chapters

00:00 Introduction

02:59 Upbringing With Divorced Parents & Mother’s Same-Sex Relationship

05:37 Why She Opposes Gay Marriage

08:24 Children’s Rights: Identity, Safety & Biological Parents

12:25 The “Cinderella Effect” & Risks of Non-Biological Households

15:30 Policy, Divorce Laws & Incentivising Family Breakdown

18:45 “Modern Family” vs Biological Parenthood Debate

22:22 Why She Rejects Same-Sex Parenting (Child-Centred Argument)

27:41 Debate: Do Children Need a Mother and Father?

30:40 Population Crisis vs “Children’s Rights First”

33:34 Single Mothers by Choice & Missing Fathers

37:48 Should the Law Restrict Family Structures?

45:24 Surrogacy, Donors & “Commodification” of Children

49:02 Surrogacy & the “Primal Wound” Argument

55:10 IVF, Eugenics & Ethical Concerns

01:10:57 Final Thoughts

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