Become New with John Ortberg 38. Giving Up the 'Last Word'
Mar 19, 2026
A conversation about letting go of the need for the last word and why that hollow victory harms relationships. A clear distinction between criticism and condemnation and why one can build you while the other attacks identity. Practical listening tips like asking and paraphrasing to receive hard feedback. Biblical stories of King David show restraint, repentance, and growth amid public shame.
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How Winning The Last Word Backfired
- John Ortberg told a story about a friend Bill who finally repaid a long-owed $10 in hundreds of nickels.
- The nickels paid in public reminded Ortberg that winning the last word can give you what you asked for but not what you truly want.
Distinguish Criticism From Condemnation
- Separate criticism from condemnation by learning from corrective feedback while refusing to internalize attacks on identity.
- Scripture (Proverbs and Romans 8) urges listening to reproof for growth yet treating condemnation as something you need not receive.
Listen Fully Then Ask Is There Anything Else
- Do listen to criticism fully, avoid interrupting, then ask sincerely, Is there anything else?
- Offer your understanding of their point afterward to show you heard them and to learn.
