Mormon Stories Podcast I Declined My Mormon Mission Call - Benson Lawson | Ep. 2062
Sep 15, 2025
Benson Lawson, a courageous young man who declined his Mormon mission call, shares his compelling journey of self-discovery. He discusses the immense societal pressure and stigma surrounding this choice in the LDS community. Benson reflects on the impact of his upbringing, the struggles with mental health, and how he found solace in poetry. He emphasizes the importance of prioritizing personal happiness over rigid expectations, and explores the journey of reclaiming his identity beyond traditional religious roles.
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Institutional Wealth And Moral Conflict
- Learning about the church's financial holdings and historical racial teachings intensified Benson's moral objections.
- Those institutional issues felt incompatible with his core value of universal love.
Repentance Talk Felt Like Gaslighting
- A returned offender was invited to speak about repentance in Benson's BYU ward, which felt like gaslighting given church treatment of LGBTQ and abuse issues.
- The contrast between forgiving offenders and punishing LGBTQ members disturbed him deeply.
Mission Call Was Publicly Shared, Privately Uninspired
- Benson opened his mission call in the Joseph Smith building and announced it on Instagram Live as Oklahoma City.
- He felt disappointed and believed stateside assignments felt less prestigious and less divinely chosen.
