Mentally Stronger with Therapist Amy Morin 301 — Why Undersharing Is Holding You Back (And How to Fix It) With Harvard Professor Leslie John
Mar 23, 2026
Leslie John, behavioral scientist and Harvard Business School professor and author of Revealing, explores the hidden costs of staying quiet. She discusses why undersharing can stall relationships and growth. Short social risks that deepen bonds, how to spot safe moments to share, and why naming feelings at work and in life matters are all covered in lively, practical conversation.
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Embarrassing Overshare Led To Unexpected Mentorship
- Leslie John recounts an embarrassing party overshare that felt like pouring gasoline on herself the next morning.
- Despite the disclosure hangover she later gained mentors and close relationships with those senior professors.
Weigh Risks Of Silence Alongside Risks Of Revealing
- When deciding to reveal, weigh risks of speaking up and risks of staying silent to get the full picture.
- Considering ruminating, passive aggression, and missed understanding often shows revealing has clear relational benefits.
Use A Feelings Wheel To Pinpoint Emotions
- Improve emotional literacy before sharing by using a feelings wheel: start with pleasant/unpleasant, then narrow to anger versus sadness and specific facets.
- Leslie says this simple step helped her identify and name emotions she previously couldn't.
