The Modern Buddhism Podcast Pain Is Not From Loss
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Mar 7, 2026 Gen Kelsang Gomlam, a senior Buddhist nun and former hospice nurse, shares her journey from decades of grief to lasting inner healing. She discusses how pain arises from our reactions and attachment, why prolonged grief is not proof of love, and practical mind-training and practices that allow love to continue after death. Short, compassionate, and hopeful.
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Pain Comes From Our Reaction Not The Loss
- Pain from loss is not produced by the loss itself but by our reaction to it.
- Gen Kelsangomlam explains Buddha's teaching that attachment creates the painful reaction, not the absence of the person or thing.
Attachment Is A Deceptive Cause Of Happiness
- Attachment is a delusion that convinces us someone or something outside ourselves is the cause of our happiness.
- Gen Kelsangomlam describes how attachment initially feels pleasurable but inevitably leads to disappointment when flaws appear or things change.
Twenty Years Of Grief Before Understanding Attachment
- Gen Kelsangomlam grieved for over 20 years and tried therapy, support groups, exercise, and caring work to ease the pain.
- Despite these efforts the unresolved place in her heart remained until Buddhist analysis of attachment clarified the source.
