The Work of Being Human The Holiday Trap
Nov 28, 2022
A candid take on why the holidays can hurt and how old family roles often make gatherings harder. Short sketches of common roles like mascot, scapegoat, hero and lost child and why they persist. Warnings about burnout, perfectionism, and using relationships to avoid loneliness. Practical nudges about boundaries, self-connection, and choosing safer traditions this season.
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Refuse Abuse, Claim Inner Approval
- If you're the scapegoat, refuse abuse and set boundaries; you don't need to retaliate.
- Recognize their projection lives in them and seek approval and love from within.
Stop Fixing, Tend To Yourself
- Caretakers and counselors should stop trying to fix others and learn to tolerate their own discomfort.
- Remember: I didn't cause it, I can't control it, and I can't cure it.
Grieve Expectations For Peace
- Adjust expectations: accept that family patterns predict future behavior and grieve what you hoped for.
- Grieving realistic limits opens the possibility of peace instead of ongoing disappointment.
