Sex for Saints Episode 358 - Overcoming Good Boy Syndrome
Feb 28, 2025
A deep dive into Good Boy Syndrome and how external standards shape male behavior and sexuality. Short signs are outlined like perfectionism, emotional guarding, and sexual shame. Origins from upbringing and religion are explored. Practical steps to challenge beliefs, practice vulnerability, and support partners are discussed.
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Good Boy Syndrome Defined
- Good Boy Syndrome is internalized pressure to be seen as good by external standards, shaping men's self-worth around performance rather than identity.
- Amanda Lauder explains it drives men to stay calm, rational, and in control, suppressing anger or vulnerability to avoid appearing weak.
Conflicting Masculine Expectations
- Gendered expectations differ: women face controlled sexuality while men face pressures around strength, control, and productivity.
- Amanda Lauder notes men are told to be assertive yet not 'too much', creating impossible mixed messages.
Religious Shame That Kills Desire
- Amanda gives an example of a man raised to label sexual thoughts as sinful who then suppresses desire even after marriage.
- That suppression leads to guilt about wanting sex and difficulty connecting with his wife sexually.