Time with Tim Fletcher Healing Trauma Isn't About "Getting Over It" | Dr. Todd Berntson | Ep. 34
Mar 19, 2026
Dr. Todd Berntson, a therapist and author who draws on personal recovery and decades of clinical work. He explores how early wounds shape identity and relationships. He talks about trauma from chronic unmet needs, rebuilding connection through small brave steps, reclaiming agency, spotting safety and red flags, and treating healing as gradual practice rather than a finish line.
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How Substance Use Felt Like Being Normal
- Todd describes discovering alcohol and drugs at 12–13 and feeling “normal” for the first time, which launched daily use and near-death addiction by his late teens.
- He had a turning moment at 2:30 a.m. on Sept 10, 1983, when a pale yellow light and a voice told him You don't have to live like this anymore, then got sober and faced intense emotions without substances.
Volunteering Sparked Memory Work And A Career Shift
- Todd volunteered at the Sexual Violence Center and a lecture about abused boys unlocked flashback memories and questions about his own childhood abuse.
- He explored therapy, found early CBT insufficient, and later pursued doctoral training while processing family trauma that shaped his career.
Five Core Needs That Trauma Disrupts
- Emotional trauma fractures five core survival needs: identity, connection, value, agency, and safety, which shape lifelong functioning.
- When caregivers fail to meet these needs, a child's internal narrative and sensitivity to abandonment, helplessness, or shame become wired.