Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled How to Truly Connect When You Correct
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May 12, 2026 A parent asks about limits that feel shaming and differing approaches between caregivers. The conversation explores why children act out more with one parent and how being seen changes behavior. Practical phrases and small compassionate tweaks are offered for connecting before, during, and after correction. The focus is on recognizing impulses and aligning responses without undermining each other.
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Phone Throwing Led To A Shameful Pause
- Example: dad told their son to pick up the phone after he threw it, using a frustrated, stern tone.
- The child then became quiet and walked away looking ashamed, showing the emotional effect of that response.
See The Child Behind The Impulse
- Children who act impulsively often need to be seen as whole people in the moment, not just corrected.
- Janet Lansbury shows that recognizing dysregulation (hunger, tiredness) and naming it connects the child before setting a boundary.
Stopping Needs A Moment Of Recognition
- Calm, gentle removal of objects can be effective but may miss the child's need to be recognized in the moment.
- Janet notes kids want someone to notice who they briefly became, not just to be stopped.