I Wish You Knew Why Modern Parenting Is Creating a Mental Health Crisis (ft. Erica Komisar)
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Feb 13, 2026 
Erica Komisar, psychoanalyst and parent-guidance expert who wrote Being There, argues the first three years shape lifelong emotional health. She discusses how maternal absence, changing feminist messages, and fatherlessness affect attachment and behavior. They cover fathers’ distinct roles, financial and policy barriers to caregiving, and practical ways families can rebuild early security.
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Feminism's Unintended Message
- Feminism's message partly pushed women to emulate men and devalue mothering as work.
- Komisar argues women’s unique caregiving role is equally valuable and was undermined by cultural shifts.
Guarantee Financial Security For Mothers
- Use prenups and financial practices that give women independent security before they leave high-earning roles.
- Consider wearable assets (e.g., jewelry) and pension contributions to provide safety during caregiving seasons.
Struggling For Paternity Leave
- Adam Lane Smith recounts fighting for unpaid paternity leave and losing half a paycheck to be home after his child's birth.
- He describes how lack of employer support hurt his family's finances and bonding early on.
