Intro

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Children are born neurologically and emotionally fragile. They're born feeling frightened and unsafe. And somewhere along the way, we decided that was someone else's problem to solve.

Erica Komisar joins Adam Lane Smith for a conversation about what we've lost: the understanding that the first three years of a child's life shape everything that comes after.

In this video: 
→ Why 85% of your child's social-emotional brain develops before age three 
→ The attachment foundation that determines mental health for life 
→ How we told women that careers matter more than shaping the next generation 
→ What chronic absence does to a child's nervous system (and why we're medicating the result) 
→ The feminist message that backfired: "Women should be more like men" 
→ Why 60% of mothers would stay home if they had financial and emotional support 
→ The father's role: vasopressin, protection, play, and teaching risk 
→ How fatherlessness connects to the behavioral crisis in young boys 
→ The deathbed question: who will be holding your hand when you die? 
→ Why sibling rivalry spikes when parents aren't present enough 
→ The CEO/CFO model of marriage: equal value, different specialization 
→ How wives can pull workaholic husbands back into the family

ABOUT ERICA KOMISAR: Erica Komisar is a psychoanalyst, parent guidance expert, and author of "Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First Three Years Matters." Her new book on raising healthy children through divorce releases March 2026.

🔗 Erica's Website: komisar.com 
🔗 Attachment Circles (Nonprofit): attachmentcircles.org 🔗 Instagram: @ericakommisar

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