At Peace Parents Podcast Ep. 95 - Where Parents, Therapists and Teachers of PDA Children and Teens Get Stuck
Jan 17, 2025
This episode delves into common challenges faced by parents, therapists, and teachers of PDA children. It discusses rethinking demands and understanding cognitive loops that lead to resistance. The importance of perceived autonomy and equalizing behaviors is highlighted, along with the impact of cumulative nervous system activation on basic needs. Additionally, strategies for building safety through small accommodations and prioritizing relational safety over skill acquisition are explored. Timelines for change are addressed, emphasizing the uniqueness of each child's journey.
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Equalizing Restores Felt Equality
- Equalizing behaviors (knocking spices, controlling conversation) restore perceived equality after losses of autonomy.
- These acts are regulatory, not manipulative demands, and don't fit classic demand-avoidance models.
Stress Can Impair Basic Needs
- Chronic nervous system activation can disable access to basic needs like eating, toileting, sleep, and hygiene.
- These regressions are physiological effects of stress, not simple refusal or willful misbehavior.
Lower Demands — Then Add Supports
- Lowering demands is necessary but rarely sufficient to reduce burnout in PDA children and teens.
- Add autonomy-supporting accommodations and novel regulatory activities to truly lower nervous system activation.
