For The Love With Jen Hatmaker Podcast

Kate Bowler on the Ache That Makes Us Human—and the Joy That Makes Us Whole

Apr 8, 2026
Kate Bowler, historian and theologian at Duke and bestselling writer who studies faith, suffering, and joy. She names the persistent ache of grief, guilt, and longing. She rejects pep‑talk joy and explores how joy sneaks in through absurd moments, embodied practices, roadside detours, and an unforgettable snake‑bite ER story. She offers small, brave practices to live with ache and still sing your song.
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INSIGHT

Joy Exists In The Middle Of Unresolved Life

  • Joy is not a reward you earn after fixing everything; it's available in the before, middle, and after of life.
  • Kate Bowler reframes joy as an honest practice for people living with unresolved suffering, not a pep-talk to optimize more.
INSIGHT

The Ache Is A Signal Not A Defect

  • The 'ache' is a central human condition made of grief, guilt, and longing, and it signals a need to re-examine how life feels in the body.
  • Naming the ache and asking 'where can this take me that's lovelier than here?' redirects longing toward gentler possibilities.
ADVICE

Make A Burn Book To Name Your Resentments

  • Do make a candid grievance list that names what scarred you and what counted, instead of neatly performing resilience.
  • Kate and her friend use hilariously specific 'burn books' to acknowledge hurts and refuse quick fixes.
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