Self-Led in Bed: An IFS and Sexuality Podcast

22: Loving Up our Sexual Firefighters, with Cece Sykes

Jan 1, 2026

Cece Sykes, LCSW and longtime IFS trainer who specializes in trauma and addictions, joins to explore sexuality through parts work. She reframes firefighters as seekers of pleasure and relief. Short, clear conversations cover how parts shape desire, consent, addiction, intimacy across the lifespan, cultural shame, and hope for healing and embodied pleasure.

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ADVICE

Pause For Internal Consent

Pause and check for internal consent before sharing personal impulses or parts-driven content.
Use short pauses to notice parts stepping up and decide what to disclose.

INSIGHT

Firefighters As Healthy Gear-Changers

Firefighters motivate rest, pleasure, novelty and act as healthy gear-changers in non-burdened systems.
They become extreme only when exiles hold heavy burdens and managers grow rigid.

INSIGHT

Backlash Shows When Firefighters Are Harmful

Backlash from managers signals firefighters have crossed into harmful territory for the system.
Addiction is defined by consequences and loss of Self access, not by the activity itself.

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”The first thing I ever wrote about firefighters is why I love my firefighters. And I said, firefighters add spice to life..they relieve us of the humdrum of our manager driven lives.” - Cece Sykes

Content Advisory: This episode includes candid discussions of sexuality, sexual trauma, and personal experiences that may be triggering for some listeners.

Patty talks to Cece Sykes about the deep intersections of sexuality, parts work, trauma, addiction, and healing. Cece shares her early experiences training with Dick Schwartz, witnessing the model's beginnings in family therapy, and consulting with him in Oak Park—the "birthplace" of IFS. Together they explore sexuality through an IFS lens with particular attention to parts that care about pleasure, sex, connection, and escape. They also consider the cultural polarities that influence our attitudes toward these parts, internal consent, the evolution of intimacy in long-term relationships, hope for healing sexual trauma and finding sexual pleasure at any age, and the joy of embodied, grateful living. Later in the episode, Cece gently invites Patty to share more about her own motivations for working with sexuality which reminds Patty of a story from 4th grade..

They reflect on sex as a vital, evolving part of a full life, which can be led by Self Energy when we are freed from sexual burdens. Cece reflects on her impulsive "healthy firefighters" and cautious managers, emphasizing nuance, gratitude for home, family, and her recent marriage, and offering hope to those who are on the path.

Cece Sykes, LCSW, ACSW, has over forty years of clinical experience with recovery from trauma and addiction. A founding trainer with the IFS Institute, Cece piloted her own approach on addiction and has spent over two decades educating therapists worldwide on IFS and treating addictive processes. She co-authored IFS Therapy for Addictions: Trauma-Informed, Compassion-Based Interventions for Substance Use, Eating, Gambling and More (2023) and numerous IFS articles and book chapters. Cece originated her treasured Heart Lessons of the Journey retreats for therapists to explore personal narratives. She lives with her husband in her lifelong home of Chicago, close to family, friends, and grandchildren.

Connect with Cece:

Website: https://www.cecesykeslcsw.com

Book:https://www.amazon.com/Internal-Family-Systems-Therapy-Addictions/dp/1683736028#immersive-view_1765318349404

Follow Patricia on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/patriciarichconsulting/

Join the Self-Led Sexuality Free Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/selfleds3xualitywithpatriciarich