The Happiness Podcast 24 - Stop Fixing Yourself
Oct 29, 2019
A short practice on self-observation and why trying to fix yourself often backfires. Clear distinctions between watching yourself and becoming self-absorbed. Treat feelings as passing events rather than identity-defining states. A sky-and-clouds analogy that shows the observer remains constant while emotions change.
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What Self-Observation Really Means
- Anthony de Mello defines self-observation as watching everything in and around you without personalizing it.
- He contrasts it with self-absorption and asks you to observe as if it were happening to someone else, creating detachment.
You Are The Sky Not The Clouds
- Suffering comes from identifying with transient states like depression or delight instead of seeing them as passing experiences.
- Anthony de Mello uses the sky-and-clouds analogy: you are the sky observing changing clouds of mood.
Stop Fixing And Just Watch
- Don't interfere or try to fix your inner states; instead, simply watch and observe them.
- Anthony de Mello advises stopping the habitual fixing and understanding inner movements, because understanding itself causes change.