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Why You Don’t Believe in Yourself (And How to Fix It) | Dr. Shadé Zahrai

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Feb 17, 2026

Guest

Dr Shadé Zahrai

Dr. Shadé Zahrai, a performance psychologist and author who studies self-doubt and self-trust. She explains why action often precedes confidence. Short practical topics include body language signals, the four drivers of self-trust, why perfectionism burns people out, planning for failure with if-then strategies, and simple daily habits to build what she calls Big Trust.

01:34:49

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INSIGHT

Beliefs Shape Social Reality

Expectation bias shows beliefs about yourself change how you perceive others' reactions, even when nothing externally changed.
The Dartmouth scar study revealed the brain produces the experience you expect.

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ADVICE

Plan For What Could Go Wrong

Anticipate what could go wrong and create an if-then recovery plan for each risk (implementation intentions).
Visualize the problem and your response so you default to action instead of panic.

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ANECDOTE

Michael Phelps' Failure Visualization

Michael Phelps visualized every race failure and his recovery actions so he could perform under unexpected problems.
During the 2008 final his goggles filled, he swam blind and still won because he'd rehearsed the recovery.

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Confidence: Feeling Versus Perception

01:57 • 3min

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Body Language Signals of Confidence

04:31 • 5min

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Physiology, Posture and Mental Clarity

09:08 • 2min

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Dr Zahrai's PhD on Self-Doubt

11:30 • 1min

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Self-Image Blueprint and Four Drivers

Doubt Profiles and Self-Trust

21:32 • 1min

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Self-Awareness and Expectation Bias

22:33 • 2min

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The Scar Experiment and Perception

25:02 • 3min

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Personality Is Changeable

28:02 • 1min

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How High Achievers Handle Doubt

29:22 • 10min

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If-Then Planning and Premortems

Worry List and Stimulus Control

48:02 • 2min

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Striving, Perfectionism and Burnout

Load Metaphor and Burnout Warning

56:03 • 6min

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Harmonious Passion and Hobbies

01:01:40 • 5min

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Defining Peak Performance and Big Trust

Building Self-Trust Practically

01:12:44 • 13min

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Three Daily Habits for Big Trust

01:25:42 • 4min

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Organizational Training and Implementation

01:29:12 • 4min

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Big Trust Reveals True Desires

• Mentioned in 15 episodes

Big Trust

Dr Shadé Zahrai

#512

• Mentioned in 60 episodes

Psycho-Cybernetics

Maxwell Maltz

Published in 1960, 'Psycho-Cybernetics' is a classic in the self-help genre. Maxwell Maltz, a plastic surgeon, developed this book based on his observations of patients whose inner attitudes and feelings remained unchanged despite successful surgery. He introduced the concept of 'self-image' and its profound impact on achieving personal goals. The book combines cognitive behavioral techniques with cybernetic principles to help individuals regulate their self-concept and achieve positive outcomes. Maltz's methods, including visualization, mental rehearsal, and relaxation, have been widely adopted by motivational gurus, sports psychologists, and self-help practitioners. The book emphasizes the importance of a positive self-image and the use of mental imagery to achieve success and happiness.

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Self-doubt holds more people back than lack of skill or intelligence.

In this episode, Dr. Gabrielle Lyon sits down with Dr. Shadé Zahrai to explore the science of confidence, self-trust, and peak performance. They break down why confidence comes after action, how self-image shapes success, and the four psychological drivers that determine whether you thrive or stay stuck.

You will learn how body language influences perception, why high performers plan for failure, how perfectionism leads to burnout, and the subtle communication habits that undermine credibility. Most importantly, you will discover how to build what Dr. Zahrai calls Big Trust so you can back yourself before you feel ready.

If you struggle with overthinking, imposter thoughts, or feeling capable but not fully confident, this conversation will give you practical tools to change how you show up.

CHAPTERS

00:00 Confidence science: feeling vs appearing

00:51 The opposite of self-doubt and why confidence comes after action

01:53 Self-trust before confidence

03:03 Nonverbal confidence cues: posture, eye contact, smile, pace

07:30 Body language feedback loop: posture and recall

09:26 Shadé’s PhD on self-doubt under pressure

12:22 What makes people successful: self-image

12:30 Self-image blueprint and why change does not stick

14:29 The Four A’s: Acceptance, Agency, Autonomy, Adaptability

20:26 The self-awareness gap and changing personality traits

22:30 Expectation bias and the scar experiment

25:54 Self-doubt types: signal vs verdict

28:30 Visibility, influence, and the people around you

31:16 Which traits are easiest to change

35:56 Why capable people still stay stuck

40:25 Michael Phelps and visualizing failure recovery

42:30 Stop rumination: stimulus control for worry

47:45 Self-improvement vs perfectionism vs burnout

56:53 The 4 inner deceivers: Judge, Protector, Neglecter, Ringmaster

1:11:22 Peak performance and Big Trust

1:19:19 Communication habits that kill credibility

1:24:18 Stop over-apologizing and reframe emotion

1:29:47 Daily habits to build Big Trust and audit your circle

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Find Dr. Dr. Shadé Zahrai at:

IG: https://www.instagram.com/shadezahrai/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/shadezahrai
Big Trust by Dr. Shadé Zahrai gives you the tools to quiet self-doubt and step forward with clarity, agency, and confidence. Get your copy here: https://www.amazon.ca/Big-Trust-Self-Doubt-Confidence-Success/dp/0063378159

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Disclaimers: This episode includes paid sponsorships.

The Dr. Gabrielle Lyon Podcast and YouTube are for general information purposes only and do not constitute the practice of medicine, nursing, or other professional health care services, including the giving of medical advice, and no doctor/patient relationship is formed. The use of information on this podcast, YouTube, or materials linked from this podcast or YouTube is at the user's own risk. The content of this podcast is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their health care professional for any such conditions.

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