Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships S19E12: Decoding Dating & Human Connection w/ Jeremy Hurewitz
Nov 12, 2024
Jeremy Hurewitz, espionage expert and author who studies spies and human behavior, explains how tradecraft maps to dating. He discusses reading body language, baselining and avoiding overanalysis. Hear practical tools: mirroring, elicitation, active listening, tone control, vulnerability, and ways to build trust and cut through mixed signals.
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Spies Are Expert Relationship Managers
- Spies are elite relationship managers who build genuine rapport rather than nefarious seducers.
- Jeremy explains CIA case officers view themselves like therapists, forming real bonds with targets to gather reliable intelligence.
Set A Baseline Before Reading Body Language
- Establish a behavioral baseline on a date before interpreting gestures as meaningful signals.
- Watch for deviations (e.g., rubbing neck when children come up) and stacking clues to form a mosaic of intent.
Use A Slow Calm Voice To Diffuse Anger
- Use a slow calm voice to defuse heated moments instead of matching raised volume or speed.
- Jeremy notes negotiators set tone and pace to change group dynamics and calm upset partners.
