Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

How Do We Know When to Set a Boundary?

Mar 29, 2022
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INSIGHT

Challenging Behavior Is A Call For Acceptance

  • Children who behave unpleasantly are often seeking acceptance and leadership, not 'negative attention'.
  • Janet Lansbury explains that their messy outbursts ask for assurance, security, and for us to see their feelings fully.
ADVICE

Prioritize Needs Over Constant Wants

  • Differentiate wants from needs before responding and prioritize core needs like food, sleep, safety, and relationship security.
  • Lansbury highlights caregiving moments (diapering, bedtime) as prime opportunities for focused attention to meet a child's need.
ADVICE

Tune Into Yourself Before Saying Yes

  • Tune into your own comfort and capacity before agreeing to requests; offer wholehearted presence only when you can be fully available.
  • Lansbury gives examples: hold a child when you can sit comfortably; refuse when you're busy or unsafe.
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