401: ‘I needed to let go of who I was in my marriage.’ (ft. Sara)

Have you ever felt like you've done everything right — therapy, journaling, the inner work — and yet you were still kind of... stuck? Like you intellectually understood your pain but couldn't actually move it?

That's where Sara found herself after a 10-year marriage ended; a year of talk therapy later, she still wasn't where she wanted to be. She felt alone in a battle with the voice inside her that said she was a failure, unlovable, and destined to repeat the past.

So she did something most people would never, ever do — and it changed everything.

It involved the kink world — but not in the way you might think. Here, we get into how she set it all up, why she chose to do it the way she did, what it felt like in the room, and — most importantly — what shifted as a result.

This episode is a reminder that healing doesn't always look the way we expect, and that sometimes the bravest thing we can do is feel it all, all the way through ... in community.

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• Ready to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I can help you break old patterns and transform your sex & love life for good. To see if you're a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)

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Memorable quotes from this episode:

• "It had been about a year of talk therapy, and I was thinking, 'Why am I not where I want to be?'"
• “What if I meet someone horrible and think they’re amazing?”
• "These were thoughts like, 'You’re not good enough. You’re not special. You’re never going to find love. Nobody’s ever going to love you. You don’t deserve to find the perfect partner for you.'" 
• "I wanted to be pushed. I wanted to be a bawling mess."
• "I want to feel like I was letting go to a new extent."
• "Is this really the idea?? Do I really want to do this?"
• "I did this thing, and I survived, and I was in control."
• “I chose that pain and I chose to let go of that pain.” 
• "Things just became a little easier — of forgiving myself. Not having to be as perfect. Not having to be completely ready."

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Mentioned on this episode:

• DM 231: Her journey from vanilla marriage to BDSM and kink! (ft. Sara)
• Want to get in touch with Sara? Email me: dearmenpodcast at gmail dot com