Leslie John drops a finding that stops most people cold: couples married an average of 12 years guessed what their partner was thinking and feeling correctly only 20% of the time. That gap between how well you think you know someone and how well you actually know them is where relationships quietly break down.
It's the same dynamic playing out in friendships, at work, and in families everywhere. You think you're saving people discomfort by holding back, but what you're actually doing is building a wall you can't see.
Leslie walks through the science of "disclosure decisions," the hundreds of small choices you make each day about what to say and what to swallow, and what it costs you over time when the scales tip too far toward silence.
Learning to share with the right people, at the right moments, with the right context isn't just good communication. It's how you build the kind of relationships that actually hold.
The Greatness Playbook: The Communication Mastery Edition
Leslie’s book Revealing: The Underrated Power of Oversharing
In this episode you will:
- Discover why undersharing, not oversharing, is quietly destroying your closest relationships and what the research says about the real cost of silence.
- Understand how "mind reading expectations" create a hidden trap in romantic relationships and learn the simple shift that breaks the cycle before resentment builds.
- Learn the one question that can open any conversation with a guarded partner and why leading with your own vulnerability is more powerful than finding the perfect words.
- Recognize how the things you leave unsaid pile up into a weight that erodes your self-respect over time and what it takes to start speaking your truth again.
- Apply the science of the feedback sandwich, including what the research actually found about which part matters most, so you can deliver hard truths in a way people can actually hear.
For more information go to https://lewishowes.com/1893
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More SOG episodes we think you’ll love:
Lewis Howes & Martha Higareda
Matthew Hussey
Stephen Chandler
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