Psychology In Seattle Podcast Limerence Deep Dive (Chapter 14 - Dr Tom Bellamy)
Feb 6, 2026
Dr Tom Bellamy, neuroscientist and author who studies limerence and romantic obsession, shares research and personal experience. He explains limerence as a dopamine-driven, addiction-like wanting. They cover features that make it disruptive, risk factors like midlife and attachment, survey findings on prevalence, and strategies to reduce its intensity.
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Personal Trigger For Research
- Tom Bellamy described his own unwelcome limerence while married as a catalyst for his research.
- That personal experience led him to search neuroscience literature and behavioral addiction parallels.
Limerence As A Natural Reward Gone Addictive
- Limerence often reflects a natural reward system that can become addictive under certain conditions.
- Tom Bellamy links limerence mechanics to behavioral addiction and dopamine-driven wanting.
Uncertainty Fuels The Addiction Cycle
- Uncertainty and intermittent reciprocation sensitize dopamine-based wanting, deepening limerence.
- Late-stage limerence resembles addiction: craving, intrusive thoughts, mood swings, and weakened executive control.