Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled My Child Won't Stop Hitting
Feb 8, 2018
Janet Lansbury provides guidance to a parent on how to address their toddler's hitting and pushing behavior towards other kids. She emphasizes understanding the underlying motive behind the behavior and the importance of providing calm and attentive guidance. The chapter explores the role of love and understanding in addressing aggressive behavior in children and offers effective strategies for handling a child's hitting behavior.
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Hitting Is An Impulsive Fear Response
- Hitting often isn't a joyful thrill but an excited danger state where the child knows they're doing something wrong.
- Janet Lansbury explains the behavior as an impulse-driven act where the child feels insecure and needs calm protection, not moralizing talk.
Block Before You Talk
- Be physically present and proactively block the behavior before talking.
- Use a 'buddy guard' stance: place your hand to stop the action, then briefly say you're there to keep them safe.
Say Less About It And Stay Supportive
- Reduce lecturing, apologies, and repetitive moralizing after incidents because they don't stop the impulse.
- Janet recommends short, connected comments like "I'm here" instead of forcing apologies or long talks.