Conversations with Annalisa Barbieri Unresolved Grief (adults bereaved in childhood) with psychotherapist Mandy Gosling
Mar 7, 2024
Mandy Gosling is a UKCP- and BACP-registered psychotherapist specializing in childhood bereavement, drawing on her own experiences of losing her mother at nine. She discusses how unresolved grief from childhood can affect adulthood, leading to challenges in relationships and mental health. Mandy highlights the unique ways children process grief and emphasizes the importance of ongoing conversations about loss. She also shares advice for supporting bereaved children, aiming to help them cope and heal throughout their lives.
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Childhood Loss Told Late
- Mandy Gosling was nine when her mother died and learned of the death three days later from a great aunt.
- She describes shutting down and going into survival mode with no space to process the loss.
Bereavement Freezes Development
- Childhood bereavement can freeze development at the time of loss and leave a ‘frozen child’ inside the adult.
- Mandy says this frozen state often requires therapeutic work to ‘unfreeze’ and complete missed development.
Dual Process Explains Delayed Grief
- The dual process model explains oscillation between restoration and grief.
- Mandy links long-term coping to staying in restorative mode until a trigger forces a traumatic grief response.