601 Guy Winch: How to Heal a Broken Heart

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Feb 13, 2018

In this engaging discussion, Guy Winch, a licensed psychologist and author, shares insights on healing emotional injuries. He emphasizes that heartbreak, whether from a breakup or loss, deserves as much attention as physical wounds. Winch encourages listeners to acknowledge their pain and urges society to better support those in emotional distress. The conversation also covers the importance of reframing perspectives, recognizing personal growth through grief, and the idea of emotional first aid—tools for navigating healing and moving on.

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ADVICE

Balance Memories To Reduce Idealization

Counteract idealization by listing both positives and real negatives about the person and relationship.
Balance memory to avoid inaccurate glorification that hinders recovery.

ADVICE

Find A Realistic Why, Don't Self-Blame

Seek a clear but realistic explanation for the breakup to aid closure, without obsessing over every detail.
Avoid blaming imagined personal defects that demoralize recovery.

ADVICE

Use Support But Monitor Its Effectiveness

Use social support early: reach out to friends and accept help when you need it.
If isolation is your style, monitor progress; change tactics if you stay stuck.

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We need to think about feelings and how we respond to them as something we have control over.
I have had a lot of injuries in my life. I've even had a physical injury that destroyed my sports career. Honestly, that was nothing compared to some of the emotional injuries I've been through.
We all tend to neglect our emotional injuries. We push them off and consider ourselves as wimps or over-emotional. In reality, these injuries are extreme. They need to be cared for like any broken bone.
If we continue to ignore our heartbreaks, that pain will never heal. It will carry with us for years, or even decades.
On this episode of The School of Greatness I'm joined again by the amazing psychologist, Guy Winch, to discuss emotional pain -- whether it's from a break up, the loss of a loved one, or any other negative feelings that may be holding you back in life.
Dr. Guy Winch, is a licensed psychologist, author, and in-demand keynote speaker whose books have been translated into twenty-four languages.
Dr. Winch's viral TED Talk, Why We All Need to Practice Emotional First Aid, has been viewed over 5 million times and is rated among the top 5 most inspiring talks of all time on TED.com.
His upcoming book, How to Fix a Broken Heart, just came out and that's what we dove into in this episode.
Previously on the show (way back in year 1), we talked about the idea of "emotional first aid" and how important it is for us to learn how to heal our emotional injuries just like we do our physical ones.
However, as Guy pointed out, heartbreak is a special kind of emotional pain and there are certain behaviors that support us in healing from this (and many that don't.)
Learn how to understand yourself and your friends in heartbreak, and heal the healthy way, on Episode 601.
Some Questions I Ask:
How do we communicate with someone who has a broken heart? (7:02)
Should we feel embarrassed for grieving? (12:32)
What are examples of some things people do with feelings thare ok, or that they shouldn't be doing? (14:21)
What are thoughts we should be having after a heartbreak? (18:30)
What's the best approach to process the feelings? (25:36)
What's the best way for friends to reach out to someone going through a heartbreak? (31:08)
What's the longest it took you to get over a romantic relationship? (40:15)
What's the biggest lesson you've learned about yourself from 20 years of psychology? (43:10)
What do you think is holding you back from doing what you want to do faster? (47:03)
Has there ever been a challenge someone brought to you that you didn't feel like you could find a solution for? (52:00)
In This Episode You Will Learn:
What happens if you don't process your heartbreak (10:36)
The stupid feelings Dr. Winch has (13:02)
The time frame for when someone should be able to get back to a normal life after a heartbreak (16:32)
The best process for when you breakup with someone (21:42)
Which is harder to recover from, an emotion or a physical injury (27:34)
A serious heartbreak that took Dr. Winch a long time to recover from (35:45)
What's the greatest part about being a psychologist for Dr Winch (41:32)
The greatest challenge Dr. Winch faces in his life right now (44:34)
A common theme he's learned about people (49:00)
And much, much more

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