412: Is perimenopause or menopause stealing her sex drive? (ft. sexual wellness physician Dr. Debra Durst)
She used to want it. Now she doesn't. And you're not sure if it's you, the kids, the stress — or something that's quietly shifted inside her.
A lot of the time, it's her hormones. Specifically, perimenopause or menopause.
Here's what most people don't know: perimenopause doesn't start at 45 years old. Dr. Debra Durst — an MD who left traditional medicine to specialize in hormone optimization and sexual wellness — is seeing it in women in their 30s, and sometimes even their 20s.
And the first hormones to drop aren't estrogen -- they're progesterone and testosterone. Which means your partner may be dealing with sleep disruption, anxiety, a shorter fuse, brain fog, low libido, and body composition changes — while her doctor keeps saying her labs look "normal."
Here, Dr. Durst breaks down what perimenopause actually is (it can last a decade or more), why most gynecologists aren't trained to address it, and what comprehensive hormone optimization actually looks like. We get into why testosterone is, surprisingly, the most abundant hormone circulating in a woman's body — and what happens to a couple's sex life when it's properly restored (hint: sometimes you're back to doing it twice a day!).
Plus, we talk about solutions to dryness. There are now cutting-edge tissue regeneration treatments — laser rejuvenation and PRP O-Shots — that can bring arousal, sensitivity, and orgasmic strength back after menopause causes physical changes. And we talk about why Dr. Durst's office coined the phrase "no man left behind" — because when a woman gets optimized, her husband sometimes can't keep up. ;)
If your partner has gone quiet in the bedroom and you don't know why — or she's been told everything looks fine but something clearly isn't — this one's for you. And if she's listening: this one's for you, too.
—
Work with us
Ready to go deeper than the podcast and take action? Jason and I will help you break old patterns and transform your sex & love life for good. To see if you're a fit for our flagship program, Pillars of Presence, book a call here. Start anytime. (https://evolutionary.men/apply/)
—
Mentioned on this episode:
- Dr. Debra Durst's practice: RevitalizeMD — https://www.revitalyzemd.com — also does remote consultations
- SexMD Podcast and Dr. Debra Durst on YouTube
- A4M (Anti-Aging Academy) provider directory: A4M.com — search by zip code to find a hormone specialist near you
- O-Shot and P-Shot official provider directories (oshot.info/members/directory/; https://pshot.info/homepage/)
- GAINSWave provider network — for men's sexual wellness (https://gainswave.com/directory/)
—
Memorable quotes from this episode:
- "If you don't feel like yourself, then you need to start thinking hormones."
- "Progesterone is your feel-good hormone — sleep and mood, if I was to simplify it."
- "Leaving problems unaddressed is not sustainable for couples."
- "These women get tearful because it's the first time they felt like they actually were listened to."
- "When we get you optimized, he won't be able to keep up."
- "No man left behind."
- "A lot of men will say, 'I didn't know I had an issue until you optimized her.'"
- "Women on testosterone — it is life-changing."
- "Sex does not have to be different if you don't want it to be."
- "I want my life back. My sex life back."
