Pillow Talks E253: Ask A Sex Therapist: dry spells, sex pillows, and morning sex
Mar 26, 2026
They answer real listener questions about sex pillows — shapes, pros, cons, and whether they’re worth the space. They talk about dry spells: what counts as normal and when to take action. Morning sex mismatches, low-energy intimacy, lingerie awkwardness, and how to suggest resources to a reluctant partner all come up in short, practical conversations.
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Make Lingerie A Prep Ritual
- Do practice wearing lingerie as preparation rather than perfection; letting your partner know you plan to put something sexy on builds anticipation.
- Vanessa recommends finding styles that feel like you and wearing lingerie under clothes or all day to get comfortable.
Partners Don't See The Flaws You Obsess Over
- Men often see the whole partner rather than individual body flaws, so the perceived flaws you obsess over are rarely noticed by them.
- Vanessa points out cultural conditioning makes women compare body parts to impossible models, increasing lingerie insecurity.
Name The Exhaustion And Schedule Intimacy Early
- Do talk openly about exhaustion and acknowledge the season you're in; a repeated sincere statement of missing intimacy reduces misinterpretation.
- Vanessa advises prioritizing intimacy immediately after kids are down rather than saving it for bedtime chores.