Nope! We're Not Monogamous Resentment Is a Boundary Problem (And It’s Not What You Think)
If you’ve been feeling resentful in your open relationship, this episode is for you.
In Episode 147 of Nope, We’re Not Monogamous, I break down why resentment in non-monogamy is rarely about jealousy or bad communication.
It’s usually about boundaries.
Specifically:
- The boundary you didn’t set
- The boundary you didn’t enforce
- Or the agreement your body never truly consented to
So many people in ethical non-monogamy confuse boundaries with rules, agreements, or ultimatums. When that happens, resentment builds quietly under the surface.
In this episode, we explore the difference between:
- Personal boundaries and relationship agreements
- Boundaries and ultimatums
- Autonomy and self-abandonment
If you’ve ever tried to be the “cool partner,” agreed to something you weren’t actually okay with, or said “I’m fine” when you weren’t… this conversation will help you see what resentment is really pointing to.
Because resentment isn’t random.
It’s information.
And it might be telling you it’s time to stop bulldozing yourself in the name of being evolved. 💜
In This Episode We Cover:
- Why resentment in polyamory often signals self-betrayal
- How confusing agreements with boundaries creates conflict
- The difference between boundaries and ultimatums in ENM
- Why enforcement is about your participation, not control
- The master question to ask when evaluating compatibility
- How to rebuild self-trust after boundary collapse
Want to Go Deeper?
I created a Patreon-only ENM Boundary Reset to help you walk through:
- Where resentment is showing up in your body
- What you agreed to that your nervous system didn’t
- How to identify your real boundary
- And what protecting yourself actually looks like
If you’re ready for implementation and integration, get it at www.patreon.com/notmonogamous
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Music: Composer/Author (CA): Oscar Lindstein
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