Nope! We're Not Monogamous Showing Up Alone to a Swingers Event Changed Everything - Ep. 150 with Kate Heskett
What if the thing you thought made you “too much”… was actually the doorway to deeper connection, more honest relationships, and a whole lot more pleasure?
In this episode of Nope! We’re Not Monogamous, I’m joined by writer and poet Kate Heskett, whose story appears in the new anthology Pillow Talk, a collection of real, raw, awkward, and hilarious experiences of sex, intimacy, and desire.
Kate shares what it was like to show up alone to their very first swingers hotel takeover, the anxiety, the curiosity, and the unexpected validation of finding people who see the world the way they do.
We talk about what happens when monogamy never quite made sense, the messy transition into non-monogamy, and what it actually looks like to build “love-first” relationships without rigid rules.
In This Episode, We Cover:
→ What a swingers hotel takeover is really like (beyond the fantasy)
→ The anxiety and courage of showing up alone to your first lifestyle event
→ Kate’s story “Pineapples in the Snow” and what it represents
→ Growing up feeling “wrong” and trying to fit into monogamy
→ The transition from monogamy to non-monogamy (and why it can be messy)
→ What “love-first” non-monogamy looks like in real life
→ Navigating triad dynamics, distance, and communication
→ Compersion, voyeurism, and different turn-ons in open relationships
→ Why real, honest stories about sex and relationships matter
About Kate Heskett
Kate Heskett (they/them) is an award-winning poet, writer, and canoe guide based in Whistler, BC. Their work has been published in Pique and The Lupine Review, and they are a contributing author in the anthology Pillow Talk: Real People. Real Stories. Real Awkward.
Their story, Pineapples in the Snow, shares their first experience at a swingers hotel takeover, exploring risk, desire, and the powerful validation of finding community.
Pillow Talk: Real People. Real Stories. Real Awkward. is an anthology featuring 18 writers sharing frank, funny, and deeply human stories about intimacy, desire, and the moments we don’t usually talk about.
From awkward encounters to moments of joy and self-discovery, this book helps normalize the full spectrum of human experience.
👉 Grab the book + leave a review to help these stories reach more people
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