Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled My Child Is So Mean to Me
Apr 7, 2026
A parent worries her strong-willed four-year-old is being deliberately hurtful. The conversation contrasts quick judgment with a deeper, empathetic lens. Reasons behind lashing out are explored, including fear, sensitivity, and attention-seeking. Practical approaches are offered: firm empathy, proactive limits, and ways to redirect hurtful behavior while staying calm.
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Empathy Lens Reveals Why Children Act Mean
- Seeing a child's unkind behavior only on the surface distances you and escalates the cycle of hurt.
- Janet Lansbury recommends trying an empathy lens to probe underlying fear, jealousy, or insecurity driving the mean acts.
Sibling Snatching Signals Feeling Pushed Aside
- Older siblings often act out to show they're hurt by perceived parental favoritism when a new baby arrives.
- Janet explains snatching toys can be a signal of feeling pushed aside, not simple naughtiness.
Mean Behavior Can Create The Disapproval It Fears
- Children who act mean often feel frightened that they've become the 'bad' child and unconsciously create the disapproval they fear.
- Janet notes this cycle deepens when parents react with hurt and distance.