ADHD reWired 289 | Sex, Intimacy and ADHD with Ari Tuckman
Sep 24, 2019
Ari Tuckman, a psychologist and certified sex therapist specializing in ADHD, delves into the impact of ADHD on sex and intimacy. He discusses his new book, highlighting differences in sexual eagerness between those with and without ADHD. The conversation emphasizes the importance of communication for enhancing romantic satisfaction. Tuckman shares statistics on sexual behaviors and how they affect relationships, while also addressing the role of emotional openness and innovative strategies to keep intimacy alive.
01:02:38
ADHD Linked to Higher Sexual Eagerness
- People with ADHD rate themselves higher on sexual eagerness in 10 of 12 categories compared to those without ADHD.
- This heightened eagerness encompasses desire frequency, masturbation, kinkiness, and interest in consensual non-monogamy.
ADHD and Sexual Sensitivity
- Higher sexual eagerness in ADHD may be explained by greater sensitivity to sexual stimuli due to response inhibition challenges.
- This heightened sensitivity can be beneficial for relationships when well managed but problematic with large desire discrepancies.
Discuss Sexual Compatibility Early
- Know yourself and your partner's sexual desires early in the relationship to address potential mismatches.
- Discuss values, expectations, and differences openly to prevent conflicts as the relationship progresses.
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Intro
00:00 • 3min
Navigating Intimacy with ADHD
02:53 • 12min
Exploring Sexual Eagerness and Desire Discrepancies in ADHD
14:44 • 6min
Communicating Intimacy: ADHD and Relationships
20:36 • 17min
ADHD and Impulsivity in Relationships
37:50 • 6min
Rethinking Sexual and Porn Addiction
44:08 • 6min
Navigating Intimacy with ADHD
50:03 • 8min
Fostering Community and Connection Through ADHD Rewired
57:42 • 5min
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Ari Tuckman is back on the show to discuss his new book and new findings regarding how ADHD affects sex and intimacy. Ari is a psychologist in Pennsylvania working to help others live their best lives. Many times, living your best life requires understanding your sexual needs and wants and how they affect your partner or spouse. Ari has spent a great deal of time researching how people with and without ADHD relate to and process sexual activities and intimacy. In his new book ADHD After Dark, he shares the results of a survey taken of those with and without ADHD to reveal their levels of sexual eagerness. He then dispenses this down to share how varying levels of sexual eagerness affect intimate relationships and how to find ways to connect in the gaps. This conversation is full of great information about the true core issue of any sexually deficient relationship… communication. Ari shares some amazing statistics, I share some really terrible dad jokes, and together we hope to inspire you to use better communication skills to create a more unified sex life. Your Resources: More Attention, Less Deficit Podcast More Attention, Less Deficit by Ari Tuckman Ari's Website 17: Ari Tuckman on Sleep, Meds, Self-Esteem & He-Man 55: Ari Tuckman: ADHD Sex and Intimacy 94: ADHD, Sex, and Intimacy Survey Results, with Ari Tuckman Bonus Episode: One Of 15 Million (CHADD) She Comes First by Ian Kerner ADHD After Dark by Ari Tuckman CHADD Conference 2019 You'll Learn: [01:59] Welcome back to the show Ari Tuckman! [02:51] Ari is back to discuss sex and intimacy for those with ADHD. [03:24] Ari shares some of the recent shows he's gone to. [03:56] Why does Ari study ADHD and sex? [05:58] Romantic and sexual satisfaction overlap and affect one another. [07:24] Ari has been studying the difference between willingness and eagerness. [09:03] How do you address the core issue of communication to improve sexual interaction? [10:22] What is emotion regulation and how can you employ it? [13:03] Ari reveals several of the differences between the sexual interactions of those with ADHD and those without. [17:25] Which categories did people with ADHD rate themselves higher in on a survey of sexual eagerness. [20:36] What considerations should a person who is beginning a relationship think about? [23:35] Learn about the differences between ADHD and non-ADHD regarding masturbation, kinkiness, and monogamy. [27:25] How does masturbation affect your life and sex life? [28:50] Where does kink fit into this spectrum? [31:31] What is consensual non-monogamy? [40:46] Does Ari's research touch on cheating and sex addiction? What does it reveal? [46:33] Is porn use for those with ADHD really about porn? [47:50] The problem with labeling things an addiction… [50:06] Did Ari open up the survey to same-sex couples? [51:10] Ari shares 5 tips that men and women with and without ADHD could use to better their sex lives. [56:37] Learn more about the CHADD conference for this year. [57:47] If you're a regular listener, consider becoming a patron and click on our Patreon button at www.ADHDreWired.com Use my Audible.com affiliate link for your favorite titles: http://www.audibletrial.com/ADHDreWired ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability Groups The 16th season of the ADHD reWired Coaching and Accountability groups are ending soon. ArC 17 Summer Sessions run July 11th – Sept. 19th. We only have 9 spots remaining. Please visit coachingrewired.com to learn more and sign-up for our Last Scheduled Registration Event on June 11th at 3 PM CT. You don't want to miss it! Support the Podcast on Patreon Patreon allows listeners like you to support content creators like me. With a monthly contribution, you can get access to different levels of perks. One perk example is our Patron-only Group Coaching Sessions. Learn more at http://patreon.com/adhdrewired. ADHD reWired Facebook Group: If you would like to apply to join the ADHD reWired Secret Facebook group, go to https://www.adhdrewired.com/community and fill out the application. Productivity Q&A Get your ADHD questions answered live! These Q&A sessions take place on the 2nd Tuesday of every month at 12:30 PM CT. Go to https://www.adhdrewired.com/events Want to be a guest? Hey! What about you? Do you have a story? Are you a coach? Are you an ADHD Clinician? If you answered yes to any of these questions and you'd like to be a guest, schedule a pre-interview call here.