On Purpose with Jay Shetty Dr. Gabor Maté ON: Understanding Your Trauma & How to Heal Emotional Wounds to Start Moving On From the Past Today
Jay Shetty's Monk Experience
- Jay Shetty shares how his monk training mirrored Dr. Maté's description of children raised in more natural settings.
- He felt like a new person returning to the same world but with a different approach.
Mollycoddling vs. Love
- "Mollycoddling" stems from parental anxieties, not excessive love.
- True love can't spoil a child; projecting parental needs does.
Supporting Children Through Pain
- Don't deliberately expose children to pain; life will do that.
- Instead, support them through their inevitable painful experiences.
You can order my new book 8 RULES OF LOVE at 8rulesoflove.com or at a retail store near you. You can also get the chance to see me live on my first ever world tour. This is a 90 minute interactive show where I will take you on a journey of finding, keeping and even letting go of love. Head to jayshettytour.com and find out if I'll be in a city near you. Thank you so much for all your support - I hope to see you soon.
Today, I talk to Dr. Gabor Maté. A celebrated speaker and bestselling author, Dr. Gabor Maté is highly sought after for his expertise on a range of topics, such as addiction, stress, and childhood development. Dr. Maté has written several bestselling books, including the award-winning In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters with Addiction; When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress; and Scattered Minds: The Origins and Healing of Attention Deficit Disorder. He is also the co-author of Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers. His works have been published internationally in more than thirty languages.
Dr. Maté generously shares his deep understanding of childhood trauma, vulnerability, grief, and emotional distress. He explains what real trauma is and how time doesn’t necessarily lead to healing, how vulnerability is ingrained in us since we are young and the importance of these formative years to mold our emotional health, and the societal expectations we always try to meet but have never truly given us real fulfillment. We also exchange thoughts on dealing with grief, how we struggle to identify with the people we look up to, and how childhood experience varies for every child even when they are raised in a similar environment.
Trauma is a wound that has not fully healed which can be triggered at any point in our life so it matters that we are able to find a common ground and stay firm in what can give us healing, emotional stability, and happiness.
What We Discuss:
- 00:00:00 Intro
- 00:03:12 How do you define trauma?
- 00:06:32 How is healing defined?
- 00:08:45 Time itself does not heal emotional wounds
- 00:11:38 We are all born vulnerable
- 00:13:55 The inherent expectations we all have
- 00:20:00 The societal standards we try to live up to
- 00:25:15 It’s not possible to love kids too much
- 00:29:35 Grief is essential for life
- 00:32:19 When the past dominates the present reactions
- 00:35:16 There is no healthy identification
- 00:42:11 Why are we set on things staying the same
- 00:44:38 No two children have the same childhood
- 00:50:19 The difference between loneliness and being alone
- 00:53:54 How do you see human nature?
- 01:02:24 Suffering has to be acknowledged
- 01:06:27 Getting closure and start moving on
- 01:10:04 Spirituality becomes commoditized
- 01:15:56 Dr. Maté on Final Five:
Episode Resources
- Gabor Maté | Website
- Gabor Maté | Instagram
- Gabor Maté | Twitter
- Gabor Maté | Books
- The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture
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