134: Modern Couples Therapy with Jourdan Virginia Blue

Jul 7, 2020

Jourdan Virginia Blue, a Nashville-based couples therapist, shares her innovative 12-week therapy program designed for modern relationships. She discusses breaking away from traditional methods, like the Gottman approach, to address deeper issues. Jourdan emphasizes the importance of actionable insights and structured sessions for rapid breakthroughs. With anecdotes and strategies, she illustrates how couples can enhance intimacy and commitment. Tune in to learn how her fresh perspective can transform relationship dynamics!

01:05:59

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ADVICE

Four Pillars of Effective Couples Therapy

Ensure your chosen approach has proven history, is easy to teach, apply, and yields quick, lasting results.
These four pillars are crucial for impactful couples therapy.

question_answer

ANECDOTE

Gottman Method Limitations

Jourdan initially favored the Gottman Method but found it ineffective in addressing root problems, particularly attachment issues.
She found the method's focus on 'masters' vs. 'disasters' unhelpful for struggling couples.

question_answer

ANECDOTE

EFT's Relatability Challenge

While drawn to EFT's attachment theory, Jourdan found its terminology and structure difficult for couples to grasp.
One client humorously compared Sue Johnson's voice to an intercom in hell, highlighting the relatability issue.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Innovative Couples Therapy Program

03:32 • 11min

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Disillusionment with the Gottman Method

14:06 • 8min

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Transformative Couples Therapy Approaches

21:58 • 29min

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Evolving Connection: From Therapy to Intimacy

50:51 • 8min

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The Importance of Commitment and Growth in Relationships

59:19 • 2min

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Building Connection and Confidence in Couples Therapy

01:01:01 • 2min

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Connecting Through Resources and Continued Learning

01:02:48 • 3min

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#598

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Awaken the Giant Within

Tony Robbins

In 'Awaken the Giant Within,' Tony Robbins offers a comprehensive program for self-mastery, helping readers to discover their true purpose, take control of their lives, and harness the forces that shape their destiny. The book emphasizes the importance of understanding and changing one's belief system, values, and daily habits. It introduces concepts such as Neuro Associative Conditioning (NAC) and the three decisions that control one's destiny: what to focus on, what things mean, and what actions to take. Robbins provides step-by-step exercises and a seven-day challenge to reshape various aspects of life, including emotional, physical, relationship, and financial destinies. The book stresses that everything we do is driven by the need to avoid pain or gain pleasure and teaches how to use these forces to achieve personal goals and transform one's life.

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The five love languages

singles edition

Gary Chapman

In this book, Dr. Gary Chapman outlines five general ways that romantic partners express and experience love, which he calls 'love languages'. By learning these languages, individuals can discover their unique love languages and those of their loved ones, leading to deeper and richer levels of intimacy. The book includes practical steps and a love language assessment to help strengthen relationships. It emphasizes that people tend to give love in the way they prefer to receive it, and understanding these differences can improve communication and relationship satisfaction.

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Mating in Captivity

Unlocking Erotic Intelligence

Esther Perel

In this book, Esther Perel explores the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, arguing that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor can be antithetical to erotic desire. Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel uses case studies and lively discussions to demonstrate how more exciting, playful, and poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. She emphasizes the importance of maintaining independence, mystery, and the space between self and other to sustain desire.

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Emotion-Focused Therapy

Leslie Greenberg

This book provides an introduction to the theory, history, research, and practice of emotion-focused therapy, emphasizing the awareness, acceptance, understanding, and transformation of emotion. It is based on the idea that emotional change is central to enduring change and proposes that emotions themselves have an adaptive potential that can help clients change. The second edition incorporates the latest theory and research on EFT, including new chapters on specific marker-guided interventions, case formulation, forgiveness, and working with emotion in organizational leadership.

#14393

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The New Rules of Marriage

What You Need to Know to Make Love Work

Terrence Real

In this book, Terrence Real presents a revolutionary approach to modern marriage, highlighting the changes in women's roles and the need for men to adapt. Real provides practical strategies and exercises to help women identify and articulate their needs, listen well, set limits, and appreciate what they have. The book aims to help couples achieve profound emotional closeness and fulfill the vision of having lifelong friends and lovers. Real draws on his extensive experience helping thousands of couples shift from despair to intimacy.

Strategic Family Therapy

Jay Haley

Imago relationship therapy

Harville Hendrix

The Gottman Method

A Science-Based Approach to Couples Therapy

John Gottman

Julie Schwartz Gottman

The Gottman Method is a practical, science-based approach to couples therapy, developed from over 40 years of research by Drs. John and Julie Gottman. It focuses on three key pillars: enhancing emotional connection and friendship, managing conflict constructively, and creating a sense of purpose and shared goals. The method uses the Sound Relationship House framework to help couples improve communication, deepen emotional connection, and repair trust. It emphasizes managing conflict rather than eliminating it, and addresses issues such as communication breakdowns, infidelity, and emotional distance through research-backed interventions.

The episode this week is with Jourdan Virginia Blue. She talks all about the innovative approach to working with couples that she has created. Secret Love Hacks is a 12 week couples therapy approach that any therapist can use with their couples. All the sessions are direct, fast paced, easy to teach and easy to apply.

Find out more at https://moderncouplestherapist.com/

Jourdan Virginia Blue is a full-time couples therapist in Nashville, TN. She leads couples workshops annually, offers all day couples intensive sessions on the weekends, is the creator of a relationship focused podcast, and is the expert in her area for couples work in her private practice!

Find out more at https://jourdanvirginia.com/book

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

Please subscribe to the podcast for more great episodes.

The episode this week is being sponsored by the Couples Therapist Inner Circle. Click here for more information on the Couples Therapist Inner Circle.

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