The Couples Therapist Couch

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Sign up for the June 2026 Cohort of Shane's Certified Couples Intensive Training (CIT): https://cit.shanebirkel.com/ Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane talks working with couples who get escalated. Hear some common questions people are wondering about in couples therapy today, how to work with a partner who doesn't want to be in couples therapy, what to do if one partner is more invested than the other, what to do if things get escalated during an intensive or any type of couples therapy session, and how to market intensives to both your existing & new clients.

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Sign up for the June 2026 Cohort of Shane's Certified Couples Intensive Training (CIT): https://cit.shanebirkel.com/ Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane talks relationship repair. Hear why repair is one of the most underrated skills in a relationship, the research experiments behind relationship repair, why the rupture is inevitable, why repair is so hard for so many couples, and how to help your clients build their capacity for repair.

Trevor White, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who founded Constellation Therapy and specializes in infidelity recovery, discusses how AI is reshaping betrayal. He explores AI-generated sexual images, emotional attachments to chatbots, and real examples of AI use that hurt partners. Trevor outlines how couples can renegotiate rules around AI, balance transparency and privacy, and how clinicians can use AI responsibly.

Dr. Janina Fisher, clinical psychologist and trauma expert behind TIST and a workbook for survivors, discusses trauma's evolution and why childhood danger shapes adult responses. She explores parts-based work, how noticing separate parts soothes intense feelings, using psychoeducation to build agency, and applying these tools to interrupt blame and support healing in relationships.

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this episode, Shane talks with Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen about intensives & Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Rebecca is a Supervisor & Trainer for EFT, and one of the leaders for teaching the EFT model. Hear why intensives are a helpful way to provide safety & security for your clients, why you should do your own work as a couples therapist, how to be supportive to both partners at the same time, how to be gentle in the way you communicate with clients, and why couples therapy is some of the most rewarding work ever. To learn more about Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen and her trainings, visit: DrRebeccaJorgensen.com EFTCounseling.org Facebook & Instagram @EFTDoc Emotionally Focused Therapy Group Facebook Group You can also listen to Dr. Rebecca Jorgensen on Episode 271 & Episode 67 of The Couples Therapist Couch

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane dives into Connection as part of his mini-series, The 4 Cs in Relationships. Hear how containing boundaries & protective boundaries work in relationships, the difference between codependence & healthy connection, why so many couples struggle to get back to the honeymoon phase, how to help your clients develop true intimacy & connection, and your job as it relates to your partner.

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane dives into Compassion as part of his mini-series, The 4 Cs in Relationships. Hear why compassion is tied so closely to shame, how to view shame vs. guilt, what to do when a client is struggling with shame, the 3 ways of pursuing self-esteem, and how much is a healthy amount of comparing yourself to others.

A dive into curiosity as a tool for shifting couples from judgment to exploration. Short strategies for slowing down, validating feelings, and preventing escalation. Practical examples on mental load, speaker-listener roles, and healthy timeouts. Reflections on internal triggers, preserving love while upset, and staying open instead of fixing.

This episode is brought to you by Alma. Visit https://helloalma.com/dg/?utm_source=podcast&utm_medium=paid&utm_campaign=privatepractice to learn more Get the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Join the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new Join The Couples Therapist Couch Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/295562197518469/ In this solo episode, Shane dives into Consciousness as part of his mini-series, The 4 Cs in Relationships. Hear what consciousness really is, the different types of awareness to explore with your clients, what to do when a client breaks down from their emotions, the role of a partner when it comes to consciousness, and how to navigate emotions from childhood.

Discussion of typical couple patterns like defensiveness and blame. Introduction of the four C framework: consciousness, curiosity, compassion, and connection. Exploration of how to spot interaction patterns and the role of family history and nervous systems. Emphasis on curiosity over fixing, and compassion that allows disagreement while building safety for connection.