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Parent Letter: 'My Child Is So Mean'
- A parent wrote about a smart, strong-willed four-year-old who says hurtful things and acts aggressively.
- The parent fears dampening her spirit but feels unable to let the mean behavior pass.
Surface Lens Creates Distance
- Seeing behavior only on the surface creates distance and judgement between parent and child.
- A deeper empathetic lens reveals motives and heals the relationship.
Mean Behavior Hides Fear
- Intense, strong-willed children often act out from fear and poor regulation, not cruelty.
- Those behaviors can be the child's way of testing attachment after changes like a sibling's arrival.