11: Raising Sexually Healthy Children, with Jennifer Wiessner

“Did you get everything you needed to know by adolescence?...We can feel shame for not knowing, and I have to tell people…you didn't get this because no one taught you, this isn't some flaw of yours…no one taught you, but we can make it different for our kids.” Jennifer Wiessner

Content Advisory: This episode explores sensitive topics related to sexuality. Listener discretion is advised.

In this episode Patricia talks to Jennifer Wiessner, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, couples therapist, Level 2 trained IFS therapist and sexuality educator, to explore the crucial topic of raising sexually healthy children. Jennifer shares her inspiring journey, revealing how the IFS lens has transformed her work and empowered parents to move from fear and shame to confidence and curiosity. 

She dives into common parental anxieties, such as navigating children's exposure to online images and discussions around nudity within the home, emphasizing the importance of creating a shame-free environment. She highlights the necessity for parents to first address their own internal "parts" before engaging in conversations about sexuality with their children, stressing that curiosity, rather than judgment, creates a safe space for open dialogue.

Jennifer offers practical advice for handling challenging situations such as when children engage in sexual exploration, emphasizing the power of pausing and reflecting before reacting. She also addresses the cultural information gap surrounding sexuality, suggesting valuable resources like age-appropriate books and trusted adults to help bridge this gap. 

Furthermore, Jennifer discusses the importance of replacing judgment-laden terms like "appropriate" and "inappropriate" with clear, directive language, and explores the impact of cultural polarization on children's understanding of sexuality, contrasting the shame-based approach prevalent in the US with more open European perspectives.

Ultimately, this episode emphasizes that a foundational understanding of one's own internal system is essential for effectively raising sexually healthy children.

About Jennifer:

Jennifer Wiessner is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist, sex educator, couples therapist and consultant in Maine.

She has a private therapy and sexual health consultation practice and sees couples, groups and adult individuals. She created and facilitated the Girls on Fire workshops for teens and the popular Raising Sexually Healthy Children workshops which educate parents, medical providers and educators.. Along with being a Sex and faith educator and a public speaker on healthy sexuality in hospitals, schools, colleges, and social groups; Jennifer provides non-therapy individual and couples consultations to get them on track with their sexual selves. Jennifer was the 2023 winner of Maine Family Planning's Significant Contributor Award for Sexual Health Education. Jennifer is a mom to two teenage sons and partnered with Greg of 25 years, all of whom inspire her to do her work.

Connect with Jennifer:

Website: https://jenniferwiessnerhealthysexuality.com/ 

Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/jwiessnersextherapist/⁠

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