Sex Is Medicine REBOOT

Exploring Embodied Intimacy with Andre Lazarus

Mar 12, 2026
Andre Lazarus, a somatic intimacy guide known for his Coming Closer work and TV role on Virgin Island, joins to unpack embodied intimacy. He discusses how presence and nervous system regulation shape connection. Topics include disconnection from the body, performance culture, shame and porn’s impact, nonsexual touch, somatic practices to reconnect, and somatic approaches to sexual difficulties.
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INSIGHT

Embodied Intimacy Is Somatic Presence

  • Embodied intimacy means connecting to sensations in the body, not just thinking or talking about sex.
  • Andre contrasts 'should-do' headspace with somatic presence, where sensing fingertips, throat tightness, or chest warmth restores information lost to disassociation.
INSIGHT

Male Conditioning Narrows Sexual Embodiment

  • Male-bodied socialization to suppress feeling often produces disconnection from joy, pleasure and broader bodily sensation.
  • Andre links cultural training (e.g., 'it's okay to be angry, stamp down other feelings') to sex that becomes robotic and limited to genital activity.
INSIGHT

Nervous System State Drives Sexual Presence

  • Intimacy struggles are often nervous system dysregulation, not lack of attraction or libido.
  • When dysregulated (bad day, stress, firing) you can physically be present but be a shell; regulation heightens fingertip sensation and orgasmic capacity.
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