Performance Culture vs. Embodied Pleasure

Exploring Embodied Intimacy: Why Pleasure, Safety, and Consent are Medicine with Andre Lazarus

Sexual pleasure can be medicine, but only when woven with safety & consent. Unlike mainstream, porn-inspired sex, Embodied Intimacy is a somatic, relational, and healing practice, not a performance or technique. 

Present, connected, and embodied intimacy restores safety in the nervous system, dismantles shame around desire, and supports deeper connection in relationships. 

The conversation reframes sex as a form of medicine rooted in presence, consent, and self-awareness, rather than typical, goal-oriented sex. 

• Join Devi and Andre Lazurus to explore:
• What “embodied intimacy” actually means and why most people have never experienced it 
• Why intimacy struggles are often nervous system issues, not libido or attraction problems 
• How shame and performance culture disconnect us from authentic desire 
• The role of consent as an ongoing, embodied conversation rather than a one-time agreement 
• How touch and presence can be healing without needing to be sexual 
• Common myths about masculinity, performance, and desire that keep people stuck 
• How somatic intimacy supports trauma recovery without forcing disclosure or retraumatization 
• Simple embodied practices listeners can use to feel safer, more present, and more connected 

Learn More About Andre Lazarus:
Andre Lazarus is a Somatic Intimacy Guide and media-recognised voice on relationships, sexuality, and embodied connection. His career has followed an unconventional path: from serving in the U.S. Marines to guiding people through the complexities of intimacy and desire. That breadth of experience gives him a distinctive perspective on courage, vulnerability, and human connection. 

He is best known for his role on the UK television series Virgin Island, where he appeared as a professional surrogate partner helping participants confront intimacy challenges alongside licensed therapists. The program drew national Attention, and Andre’s presence on screen highlighted how intimacy work is not about performance but about safety, consent, and the courage to connect. 

Through his practice, Coming Closer, Andre supports individuals and couples across a wide range of needs: men facing midlife performance concerns, survivors of trauma seeking safety, long-term partners wanting to revive passion, and those exploring alternatives such as ethical non-monogamy. Equally, he works with couples committed to monogamy who want to strengthen trust and rediscover each other. His approach, rooted in the Somatica® Method of sex and intimacy coaching, emphasises learning through the body and replacing shame with curiosity. 

While Andre has also taught workshops introducing kink and alternative practices, he situates them within a broader conversation: how people of all backgrounds can embrace intimacy as part of their wellbeing. His message consistently comes back to honesty, communication, and self-awareness as the foundations for connection. 

Connect with Andre:
Website: https://www.coming-closer.com/
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/company/coming-closer/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/comingcloserwithandre/?hl=en
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@comingcloserwithandre
Facebook: https://web.facebook.com/comingcloserwithandre?_rdc=1&_rdr#
Media profile: https://www.guestsonair.com/profile/andre-lazarus
 




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See you next week!
With Love,
Devi and Alaina