The Couples Therapist Couch 275: Internal Family Systems (IFS) & Couples with Liz Phillips
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Feb 3, 2026 Liz Phillips, a therapist trained in Sensorimotor, EFT, and Internal Family Systems who teaches IFIO, discusses the multiplicity model of parts and how to befriend protectors. She explains the U-turn approach for couples, naming parts to reduce shame, unblending to access Self, and practical session frameworks and trainings for clinicians.
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Protectors Guard Vulnerable Exiles
- Managers proactively prevent painful feelings while firefighters reactively numb or extinguish them.
- Both protect vulnerable exiles that carry shame, terror, or unprocessed pain from earlier life events.
Validate Protectors Before Changing Them
- Befriend protector parts by validating their intentions and explaining their purpose.
- Offer the possibility that healed exiles could allow protectors to relax and adopt less extreme roles.
Self Leads Durable Healing
- Healing requires the client's Self to connect with parts so change persists outside therapy.
- The Self brings qualities like curiosity and compassion that can soothe protectors and access buried exiles.